Foggy

Do you ever have those days, or maybe weeks, where you feel less than like yourself? You spend your time wracking your brain for what could've gone wrong, and yet the more you search the less you find.

My problem as of late is that there seems to be a fog all around me, one that refuses to lift. The more I try to find my way out of it the deeper in it I seem to be. My time seems to be spent on things that don't matter, on wondering why I'm bored, on finding ways to occupy my time. And yet all the while I'm spending some serious brain space on fixing my problems. I should exercise more, eat less, buy more produce and cook meals every night. I should be meditating and practicing, drawing, teaching, writing. I shouldn't spend money. I should get outside more. I shouldn't buy ice cream. I should start planning my work for next semester. On and on and on.

Do you ever get tired of that constant brain chatter, telling you how you should be living your life?
Are there ways to silence the madness and be calm without worrying?

I'm in the midst of this fog right now and exploring ways to clear it up a bit. Things that come to mind include meditating and kickboxing. Hobbies, if you will. Because people with a lot of time on their hands apparently need hobbies in order not to go crazy. I've been doing one thing for so long that I didn't know I really needed hobbies until I was confronted with real adulthood and the realization that I get to choose how to spend my time and money. Funny, isn't it?

Trust me, I am so looking forward to updating you when I find myself out of this fog. Wish me luck.